


another perspective

by eclipsecard



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Yuusaku has an anxiety attack, i just wanted soft aiball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:40:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22165789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclipsecard/pseuds/eclipsecard
Summary: “i’m scared,” yusaku whispers. “i’m scared i’ll lose you, takeru and roboppi someday. i don’t want to be alone, ai.”“you won’t be alone, ‘saku, none of us are going anywhere.”
Relationships: Ai | Ignis/Fujiki Yuusaku
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	another perspective

one, two, three, four, five…

release.

yusaku opened his eyes, slowly unfurling his fists. he focused on the feeling of the tension slipping away, hoping his feelings of anxiety would fade, too.

the feelings of helplessness and discomfort clung to him like the way his uniform did on rainy days, when he'd conveniently forgotten his umbrella at home. they were ever present in the back of his mind, but he'd somehow managed to convince himself that he would not be ripped away from his family and friends to be used as a lab rat again - he had stopped shaking, and he no longer felt like the worst could come to pass at any second.

he turned his attention to his breathing, focusing on creating a slow, even cycle of inhaling and exhaling.

he recalled the way his counselor had guided him through the process - progressive muscle relaxation, he believed she called it. he could never quite find an explanation as to how it worked so well for him, but he'd come to terms with the fact that he was just fine without knowing. it just worked. he was fine with that.

once he was sure he was breathing steadily enough, he stopped and let himself breathe naturally.

it was just a dream.

"it was just a dream," yusaku repeats aloud to himself, whispering softly as to, hopefully, prevent anyone from overhearing. 

"i was having a nightmare." he continued, bouncing his leg on the ground in a quick attempt at stimulation. it worked, albeit just a bit. he was feeling more relaxed. safer.

he silently hoped that no one, especially ai, could hear him. it would be embarrassing to have to share this with anyone. he didn't want to share this with his ignis partner no matter what -- his ever growing curiosity toward humans and their psychology was annoying, and the last thing yusaku wanted to be interrogated about was an anxiety attack.

yusaku lay on his back again, staring up at the dimly lit ceiling. the only light source in the room was his computer screen, which had been left on, and was playing soft lo-fi music. he’d put it on before he went to sleep to see if it could serve as comforting background noise. it took a bit longer to fall asleep with the new noise in the background at first, but it ultimately did seem to help, and still was. he tried focusing on it to calm down further.

the current track was nice -- a piano tune with the sound of rain in the background. why the artist had decided to add the rain, he didn’t know, but he found it quite calming. he’d always liked the sound of rain, for some reason.

possibly because it was a soft, empty sound of sorts. who knows. that’s a self analysis for another time.

a soft knock at his bedroom door pulled his attention away from the music and back into reality. he sat up, letting his legs hang over the edge of his bed. he watched the door cautiously, waiting to see if whoever was behind it would open it and walk inside. who was even up at this hour anyway? how annoying.

the knock came again. it sounded louder this time.

yusaku elected to just get up and answer it, finding it useless to keep them waiting. he dragged himself up and out of bed, sluggishly making his way to the door. he put his hand on the doorknob, hesitating for a moment before pulling the door open.

“hello?” yusaku greeted, eyebrow raised.

it was ai who stood at the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. his hair was a mess, and it took a fair bit of self control from yusaku to not comment on it.

“yu!” ai greeted cheerfully as soon as he noticed the door was open. “i was beginning to think you were ignoring me.”

“i was trying to,” yusaku deadpans, “but i knew that you would whine at my door like a puppy until i let you in. what do you need?”

ai pouted, making a “hmph” noise. “what, is it a crime to check on you?”

“i’m fine.”

“that’s not true.”

“you’re talking too loud. how are you so sure i’m lying?” yusaku crossed his arms.

“because i know you.” ai huffed. “we have a  _ bond,  _ remember? i thought we had something special!”

“ugh, stop being so dramatic,” yusaku rolls his eyes. secretly, he found ai’s demeanor endearing. he’d never say that out loud, though. over his dead body. “you sound like those theatre kids at school.” he says, stepping aside so ai could come in. maybe letting inside would shut him up. he’s bound to wake takeru up with his volume.

he’d never hear the end of it if takeru found out he’d been having a rough night and hadn’t come to him.

ai made a soft pleased sound as he entered the room. he sat down on the edge of yusaku’s bed, patting the space beside him. yusaku gently closed the door behind him before following the ignis inside, sitting beside him with his hands folded in his lap.

“so,” ai started, “what’s really going on with you? i’m worried, for real.”

“oh boy. a robot is worried for me. how convenient, i’m touched.” yusaku said blankly, even managing to roll his eyes at the prospect of ai having any genuine feelings toward him.

ai frowned, sighing softly. “please talk to me. i care about you.”

yusaku shifted, crossing his arms over his chest. “fine.” he crossed his legs as well. “i just had a nightmare, and a slight anxiety attack. it was nothing.” 

_ yes, because being afraid that you’re going to be kidnapped out of nowhere is definitely nothing. _

his partner clearly doesn't seem convinced. he raises a brow. “that doesn’t sound like nothing. aren’t nightmares a part of your ptsd?”

“yes.”

“and they usually have something to do with your trauma?”

“yes.”

“then it’s not nothing.”

yusaku groans. “you win. it was horrible. but i’m fine now, honestly.” now that he was talking about it again, he could feel his hands start to shake. he suddenly felt an urge to look around the room, and he did so, glancing behind himself twice. “i just-- i don’t want to talk about it right now can we  _ please  _ talk about  _ anything else- _ ” he started bouncing his leg again, trying to focus on something, anything other than his anxiety.

“sorry, sorry,” ai whispered, glancing down at his lap. “is it okay to touch you? i just wanna hug you.”

yusaku managed a nod, and ai gently pulled him closer and wrapped his arms around him. he hesitated for a few seconds before returning the gesture, and scooting even closer.

this was nice. it’s a nice feeling.

he found himself practically sitting in ai’s lap, face buried in the crook of his neck. 

“i’m scared,” yusaku whispers, and his voice cracks. “i’m scared i’ll lose you, takeru and roboppi someday, and that i’ll be alone again. i don’t want to be alone, ai.”

“you won’t be alone, ‘saku, none of us are going anywhere.”

“is that a promise?”

“it’s a fact.”

yusaku actually laughed at that. “okay. i’ll believe you, but if any of you die, i swear i’ll buy a ouija board immediately to tell you off.”

“still going to scold us after we die? how cold.” ai chuckled.

“tough love,” yusaku smiled.

“ho? what was that? you  _ love _ us?” ai poked yusaku’s side, and he shifted slightly.

“if you tell anyone i said that, i’ll tell them you still sleep with teddy bears.” yusaku huffs.

“i am not ashamed of bert.”

“...right, you have no shame anyway. hmph.”

“you don’t have to worry, yu! my lips are sealed,” ai grins.

“fine,” yusaku rolls his eyes, sitting up to face ai. “you’re lucky i love you.”

ai is still wearing that stupid smile, and yusaku can’t help but crack a tiny smile of his own. it’s contagious, but he’d be lying if he said he hated it. ai’s ability to be optimistic in any and every situation was astounding, but admirable.

and a bit cute.

“i knew you’d say it someday! you were just in denial of your feelings~” ai hums, seeming all too proud of himself. yusaku gently pushes his face back, chuckling softly. “you’re even smiling! that’s the first time i’ve seen you smile, i didn’t even know you could do that!” he continues teasing, which just makes yusaku even more annoyed.

“if you shut up and stop teasing me, i’ll let you cuddle me.” yusaku offers, trying anything and everything in his arsenal to stop ai from talking. if he blushed, his life would be over. he can’t have that.

“okay, okay! you got it, boss! lips, zipped!” ai exclaims, slowly scooting back toward the headboard with yusaku still in his arms. he lays down once he’s close enough to the head of the bed, and yusaku lays his head on his partner’s chest.

“no matter what happens, promise you won’t leave me?”

“i wouldn’t leave you even if the rest of the human race’s lives depended on it.”


End file.
